I struggled with over apologizing for quite some time. I would constantly be saying "I'm sorry" for things I really didn't need to. It was as if anyone around me felt any minor inconvenience, I would try to make them feel better by taking the blame, whether I helped cause it or not. However, more times than not, they would respond with something along the lines of "you don't need to apologize," "it's not your fault" or "it's no trouble."
So why would I continue to do this day after day? I think sometimes it was hard for me to realize people would be willing to inconvenience themselves for me. Like the idea that someone would wait an extra five minutes in my driveway when they picked me up because I was running a little late or have a meal they didn't like just because it was my favorite was just beyond belief. Even worse, I apologized for things that I literally had absolutely no control over. Now I understand there are circumstances that call for a sincere "I'm sorry" out of sympathy and love, but mine went way past this. It was as if I expected that I could control every little thing in the lives of everyone I cared about. Which in all reality there is only one who can do that, and He is much greater than I.
So slowly, but surely, I focused on changing this behavior. I worked on changing my mindset from one of "I'm sorry I'm late" to "thank you for waiting." It was "thank you for listening" versus "sorry to bother you." Instead of taking instant blame and feeling guilty for any inconvenience, I chose to be grateful. I took the time to realize I am worth a lot, and it is not ridiculous for someone else to realize that, too. In fact, many people knew it all along.
I'm still not completely sure where the need to blame myself or apologize for everything comes from, but I know I'm not the only girl who has struggled with it. I think insecurities play a big part. Self-worth can be hard sometimes, but that's why it's so important to not judge your worth by your actions, your behavior, how others feel about you, or even how you feel about yourself. When you decide to let God be the only one who determines what you are worth, you'll see that you are worth more than life itself. Jesus Christ willingly died for you because He loves you so much. You are worth it, and you are more than enough. Thanks for reading. (:
So why would I continue to do this day after day? I think sometimes it was hard for me to realize people would be willing to inconvenience themselves for me. Like the idea that someone would wait an extra five minutes in my driveway when they picked me up because I was running a little late or have a meal they didn't like just because it was my favorite was just beyond belief. Even worse, I apologized for things that I literally had absolutely no control over. Now I understand there are circumstances that call for a sincere "I'm sorry" out of sympathy and love, but mine went way past this. It was as if I expected that I could control every little thing in the lives of everyone I cared about. Which in all reality there is only one who can do that, and He is much greater than I.
So slowly, but surely, I focused on changing this behavior. I worked on changing my mindset from one of "I'm sorry I'm late" to "thank you for waiting." It was "thank you for listening" versus "sorry to bother you." Instead of taking instant blame and feeling guilty for any inconvenience, I chose to be grateful. I took the time to realize I am worth a lot, and it is not ridiculous for someone else to realize that, too. In fact, many people knew it all along.
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